Surrender

Quick! What comes to mind when you think of the word surrender?

One night at a women’s circle, essential oils were being passed around, and a friend held up one and said it was called ‘Surrender’.

“Ick,” I said, repulsed without even smelling it.

Her reaction told me the word had a different meaning to her.

At that moment, if you had asked me for the definition, I would have told you it meant giving up, losing something valuable – probably yourself.

In the next couple of weeks, that word kept popping up. But with a different connotation.

The vibe was more like surrendering to the flow. It’s accepting blessings, rather than chasing them. I started seeing it’s connection to my goddess on the mountain top vision.

White Flag vs. Green Flag…

Obviously surrender has multiple connotations. I call the negative association ‘White Flag Surrender’ – as in ‘wave the white flag’ and give up. The positive version, Green Flag Surrender means accepting.

How does surrender play into my life? And which do I focus on?

I recently met a new guy, we talked for 40 minutes the first time we met, he asked for my number. We went on a first date a couple of nights later. I enjoyed spending time with him but discovered a couple of relationship deal breakers.

If I had known, I wouldn’t have given him my number in the first place. But I’m glad I didn’t know because it was a really great experience.

An interesting debate played out in my head after our date. We had great chemistry and conversation, but did I want to see him again?

I could White Flag Surrender and give up my standards. Or I could shut it down and run away to protect myself from getting hurt.

But what if I tried a Green Flag Surrender and accepted that I’m not in control (as usual)? What if I just released into the situation to see where it went? What if I received the blessing of getting to know someone new? What if I really embraced one of my favorite quotes that I don’t lose, I either win or learn? What if I could finally let go of my fear of failure? OK, that one feels like a white flag surrender, but you get the point.

The White Flag Surrender…

Let’s talk more about how each kind of surrender feels. White flag surrender feels like giving in at the expense of myself.

·       It feels like not keeping boundaries – or not having any in the first place.

·       It feels like being nice and putting other people’s needs ahead of mine.

·       It feels like being a door mat and letting someone walk over me for fear of being ‘rude’.

·       It feels like submission.

·       It feels like fear holding me back from being my authentic self.

·       It feels like not standing up for myself.

·       It feels like not measuring up, not being enough.

·       It feels like people pleasing.

·       It feels invisible.

It feels like the past I left behind.

Green Flag Surrender…

But green flag surrender feels so much different. Where white flag surrender feels constrictive and minimizing, green flag surrender feels expansive and empowering.

·       It’s about surrendering to the flow of life.

·       It’s about accepting what is.

·       It’s about letting go of the need to control or achieve a specific outcome.

·       It’s about trust, in myself and beyond.

·       It’s about freedom.

·       It’s about something bigger than myself.

·       It’s about feeling centered in myself.

·       It’s about freedom.

·       It’s about opportunity.

·       It’s about divine guidance and the universe having my back.

·       It’s knowing what I need will arrive when I need it.

·       It’s knowing that I have everything I need within me.

I read that true surrender is never to another person. I like that.

My hypnotherapist questioned my theory of White and Green Flag Surrender and suggested I might have a change of heart as I progress on my journey.

I guess you’ll have to subscribe and follow along to see!